How You Could be Doing Self Care Wrong

The relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for the relationships that you have with everyone else.

The emergence of content on self care has caused most people to take note of how they treat themselves and in turn has created a flawed and idolized "treat yourself" culture on most social media channels. Face masks, bubble baths, slow morning coffee and matcha routines are wonderful, but are an inaccurate representation of what self care really is. 

Self care is multi dimensional. It requires a very conscious observation of your life as a whole. The dimensions of self care are as follows: Physical, Intellectual, Social, Spiritual and Emotional. In order to truly deepen our relationships with others, we must first look at the relationship we have with ourself. These dimensions of self care are a great lens to view the commitment you make to yourself on a daily basis. 

In this post I am going to expand on four of the five dimensions of self care and the questions you can begin to ask yourself in each area to see if your needs are truly being "cared" for.

Physical Self Care

Physical self care involves your fitness, sleep, dietary and healthcare habits. This encompasses everything from your workout routines, how you move your body, to flossing and visiting a doctor for your regular check ups. 

Are you in a good practice of taking care of yourself physically? What substances do you put into your body to fuel it? Do you practice intuitive eating? Are you drinking enough water? Do you avoid foods that make you feel "uncomfortable" when you eat them or do you eat them anyway because you enjoy the taste and endorphin release? Do you regularly move your body in ways that feel good and occasionally challenge your strength and endurance? Do you floss, brush teeth and maintain your physical body on a daily basis? Are you getting good sleep? 

Intellectual Self Care

This facet of self care involves the ways in which you are fostering personal growth and the pursuit of learning/education. This means dedicating time to learn new skills, hobbies, techniques to evolve and grow in the years beyond your formal education. 

How often do you try something new? How often do you read a book on a topic that interests you? When you wonder about something do you take advantage of the digital age we live in and look it up online and learn about it? When was the last time you attended a class (cooking, workshop, free community offering etc.) Do you ask questions when you don't know an answer? Are you setting career goals? Do you try to learn from your friends and family in the topics that interest them? Do you listen to podcasts or watch documentaries? Do you journal? 

Spiritual Self Care

The values and belief systems that guide your life are what make up your spiritual well being. Having a spiritual practice allows us to evaluate and set up our moral guidelines often. Having these clearly identified allows us to make decisions in our lives that may otherwise question or compete with our morals. 

What morals do you think are most important to you? What characteristics do you look for in others (authenticity, compassion, courage, kindness, positivity etc) and do you practice those values yourself? How do you take care of your soul? Do you practice any forms of meditation? Have you ever looked at the other limbs of yoga beyond asana or the physical practice? What do you want people to remember you for? How do you want your character to be seen by others? 

Emotional Self Care

Being aware of your emotions and feelings including how these fluctuate during stressful situations is your emotional self care. Having a healthy emotional self care system allows us to be compassionate, kind, positive and emotionally flexible in any situation. 

Do your emotions rule your life? Are you able to soothe yourself in stressful situations? Does your mind run on emotional tangents with little ability to stop the process? Do you get heated and "see red"? Do you take things personally? Do you love yourself unconditionally? Do you require someone else to validate your self worth in order to feel important? Do you have unexplainable anxiety or depression?

These fields of self care are equally important if we want to have a healthy and happy relationship with ourselves. When the needs of these areas of self care are met we find harmony in our lives because we are happy and nourished. We are being mindful of the content we are consuming, the words we say, the words we listen to and how that all comes together to form our morals and spiritual guidelines. 

In this blog I did not touch on the topic of Social Self Care intentionally because I wanted to let these areas be at the forefront of your mind before we bring in Social Self Care. The idea of this post is to help to evaluate the tone you set for your most important relationship and longest lasting relationship, the one you have with yourself.